Choosing a College?
Here’s What you need to know!!!

Well, by now most of you know that I never finished college. What you probably don’t know is that along the way I picked up some pretty important information about Wisconsin colleges.

Now, different colleges have different areas that they specialize in, but here’s my list of where you should go for what, provided you can get accepted.

Your Best Overall Bet:
If you are not planning on living in a van down by the river (Matt Foley), and you have decided that you want to do something special with your life, I would recommend what I feel is the the Best Overall School in the State: Marquette University!

Not only is a degree from Marquette a virtual shoe-in for a job, but you will find MU’s campus to be a hotbed for fun and excitement. This is a classy campus, and if you compare Marquette’s campus to any of the other campuses in the state, you will only find one that even comes close to Marquette’s style and elegance.

One of the drawbacks to getting an education from MU is definitely the cost of an education. It basically costs more for one year of education at Marquette as it does for 4 years at some of the lesser state schools. (i.e., UW-Stevens Point)

If you can afford it, and your grades are good enough to get you in, do yourself a favor and go to college at Marquette!!!

Best Bet if You’re a Hippie:
Originally, this was the college that I was planning on attending. The problem: I got into radio!

Madison is in my opinion, the 2nd best college in the state. Some would argue that it is the best, and they could be right… what do I know, I dropped out!!! What I do know is that UW-Madison is known for its liberal views, scientific studies, and extreme lack of parking.

Some say that Madison is the best party campus in the nation. I’ve seen some good parties in Madtown, but that’s not what you’re going to college for, right? If you go to class and get your degree from Madison, the sky’s the limit. Heck, you might even be good enough to not get into radio! Of course anything past 8th grade qualifies you for that!!!

Best Cheap School:
The University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee is the best non-Marquette or Madison school. An education from UWM is a lot cheaper than MU or UW-Madison, and you can fool people from out of state by telling them that you go to UWM. They might think you mean Madison and that you were rich enough and smart enough to go there!

UWM is a great school if you’re looking for a good education. The school isn’t as classy as Marquette or Madison, but a degree from UWM still looks good in whatever field you are going into. Besides, there are still plenty of parties to attend and social functions to keep you busy if that is what you are looking for.

Best Nursing School:
They say that UW-Oshkosh is the best nursing school in the state. Guys, that means that there are the most young nurses at UW-Oshkosh! Okay gentlemen, if you are still not “picking up what I’m putting down,” that means there is a nice selection of co-eds to choose from at UWO.

Don’t get me wrong, nursing isn’t just for women. So to be politically correct ladies, there are a bunch of guys on campus, too. In fact, the ratio is probably 50/50.

Best Chance to Pick Up Women:
If your are just going to college to pick up chicks… Alverno is the college you need to attend. The only problem will be getting in, you see, Alverno is an all women’s college. That means that you will have to dig deep in your sister’s make-up bag to make yourself eligible to attend this college.

That does it for my 2003 college guide. In reality, if I were you I would go and tour as many campuses as you can. Besides, most high schools give you a free day off if you can prove to them that you are going on a campus tour. Take advantage of it.

Remember, most of the contents on this site are about as full of B.S. as a pen at the local beef barn, but all of it is just My Theory!!!