I WON!!! Just kidding. I think I got the worst score of all of the celebrities there. And I had my own equipment. Actually, it was my buddy's equipment. I'll just blame it on that. That and I think I was suffering from a lazy eye. Okay, not really… I just flat-out sucked.

At any rate, Michael King from the Milwaukee Wave is a stand-up guy. It is always a pleasure to work with him. I will be sure to practice for next year. Okay, so I'll actually practice the day of the event… but it's better than nothing, right?

Better luck next year, I guess.

Competing for top spots in single-word web searches is a hard task. Sometimes, though, it happens without all that much work at all. I was pleased to find out this evening that a search for the word “fuzz” shows FuzzMartin.com at the 9th spot on Google.com, the 8th spot on Yahoo.com, and the 2nd spot on MSN.com. Now, that's subject to change at any moment, but it made a brother feel good to know that he was up there.

Now if I had only spelled my name with a “ph,” I would have been at the top fo' sho'.

If you're looking for some amusing entertainment, join me this Sunday at the Hartford Gun Club. I will be participating once again in Women for MACC's “Shoot for a Cure” during the celebrity trap shoot. The event starts at about noon and is free to the public.

Last time I lost to Fox 6's Katrina Cravy (among others.) Luckily for me, Katrina is with child and won't be able to beat me this year :-).

WISN-12 just had a story about my old football coach, Keith Hensler. When I was playing back in the mid-90's, we always assumed Hens would retire as soon as he finally won the State Championship. Well, last season the Mukwonago Indians took it all. As for Coach Hensler, well his wife moved to their retirement home… he's living with his assistant coach for the remainder for the 2005 season. I guess it's just in his blood. Good luck at your attempt on back-to-back championships, Coach.

Owen's article about the 13 year old Milwaukee boy who went missing gave me a great idea on protecting your kids from the internet, sex offenders, and themselves. I'm sure someone has already thought of this, but hear me out.

If you're a parent and you are concerned about your kids access to the internet (and you should be), here is what you can do. Make your entire home network wireless. Keep the modem and the wireless router in your bedroom. When you don't want little Sally or little Billy on the internet… unplug the router. Pretty simple, huh? The kids can still use the computer for homework and games - but they won't have internet access. No internet access = no sex offenders luring your kids to Phoenix.

Damn! I should win like father of the year or something for that idea.

From time to time we receive gift packs from different companies trying to sell their products on the air. Sometimes the products are being hocked by country music stars. Within the last year or so I have received two products (that I can remember) that had to do with country music stars and food. So, tonight I decided to make a country music dinner.

It's not extremely extravagant, because, well, I have only two products to try - but I'll give you the low down none-the-less.

The meal consists of 1 chicken breast and 1 8 oz. package of Roundy's mixed veggies (corn, carrots & green beans).

The extra products: Tracy Byrd's Smokin' Cajun Seasoning & the Montgomery Gentry hocked Jim Beam Barbecue Sauce.

How I cooked them: I rubbed the thawed chicken breast with Tracy Byrd's seasoning, then placed the breast in a baking pan and put it in the oven for about a half hour, turning it about every 8 minutes. I put the barbecue sauce on the side of my plate as a dipping sauce for the chicken.

Before you say anything: Everybody knows that you don't use barbecue sauce on Cajun food, but this is Fuzz's Country Music Dinner - so I can eat whatever the hell I feel like eating.

The following is liveblogged:

7:12:17PM - I am taking my first bite of the chicken. It looks really good. It smells really good. It tastes…. a bit spicy, but not too bad.

7:13:26PM - I have had a few bites, sans sauce, to take in the Tracy Byrd Cajun goodness… Now I am ready to try the barbecue sauce.

7:13:32PM - Yeah - it's blah, just as I suspected. But I am going to continue eating it with barbecue sauce for the sake of, well, I already started this article.

7:22:17PM - I'm glad I made mixed veggies. The chicken is okay, but I'm not a big fan of the barbecue sauce with the chicken. I wouldn't recommend this meal to anyone - unless you're trying to prove to your significant other that you really have no place in the kitchen. BTW, the Cajun seasoning is making me cough - I may have added too much… who knows. In order to get any good recipes for T-Byrd's seasoning… you have to buy his cookbook. No thanks.

Thanks for having dinner with me. What's for dessert?

Or does the 2005 VW Jetta:

Look too damn close to the 2005 Chevy Aveo:

I used to love the Jettas. Now they look like piles of garbage.

Carry on.

I have to get this off my chest. Why? Because it really pissed me off and well… I pay good money for this little space on the web.

Backstage at the Cagle concert the other evening, a young lady came up to me by my new car. I won't say who she was, but I'll refer to her as “royalty.” She approached my car holding an empty apple juice bottle. She slammed the bottle down on the hood of my (once again) brand new car. She said, “I'm [royalty], and I'm going to set this here.” I was like, WTF? She said, “Don't worry, I'll come back and pick it up, I'm [royalty].”

After this person performed her “royal” duties, and I got done with my spiel, I came back to my car. The bottle was still there. I was PISSED!

I hate to be a dick, but here is a tip for the “royalty” girls in every county. You're just “weekend royalty.” The crown doesn't give you permission to act like an ass. In fact, you're supposed to be the epitome of sweet. Remember that.

Alright, I'm better now. I'm going to go polish my new ride, now.

I have met a number of celebrities in my day, but I must say, Chris Cagle is the NICEST celebrity I have ever met!

It was about 6:30 on Saturday night when I received a call from one of our account executives, Lisa Cler. Lisa said she had a number for me and I was supposed to call a guy named Christian before I got to the Dodge County Fair. I called up Christian and he talked to me like I was his brother. It was great. He said that Chris wanted me to have preferential treatment, and I had parking next to his bus! Excellent.

I pulled into the fair park, was pointed to the backstage area, and I pulled my car in right next to Cagle's bus. Christian met me right away and made sure that I was taken care of and which points I was supposed to hit on while I was on stage.

At about 7:30 the “Meet 'n Greet” took place. There were approximately 50 people waiting in line for a chance to get a picture and an autograph from Chris. The line moved very quickly, and as far as I could tell, Chris made everybody feel as though he appreciated their support immensely!

I waited until everyone had gone through the line, and then I brought Chris the fender from the Harley Sportser to sign. (BTW, we are giving away the Sportster next Saturday at West Bend Harley Davidson.) Chris first asked me if I was properly taken care of and if I had parked my car by the bus, then he signed the fender and we were on our way.

Chris Cagle was BY FAR the nicest celebrity I have ever been in contact with. The show was great, too. If you ever get a chance to see him, I suggest you do!

If you are a country fan… and you want to see your favorite radio personality (ahem!) on stage - head out to the Dodge County Fair on Saturday. I'll be the big guy with the fresh haircut introducing Chris Cagle.

The show is free with your paid admission into the fair.

For the record, that the Dodge County Fair consistently has the BEST grandstand lineup EVERY YEAR! I remember seeing Toby Keith, free, when “I Wanna Talk About Me” was a hit. A few years ago I introduced Montgomery Gentry at the DodgeCo fair. The fair board does a really great job making sure that country fans are more than satisified. (Unlike some other fairs I know of…. you know who you are!)

Show starts at 8. See you there.

I just wanted to drop a link to an old schoolmate, Elissa Thayer. Welcome to the wonderful world of blogging, Elissa.

Now, go visit her site. http://www.elissathayer.net

As most of you know, I am a pretty big movie buff. Below are the Top 10 movies that you should be excited about seeing. Some will be hitting theaters in the very near future, while others won’t be out for awhile. But when they do finally grace the big screen, these are the 10 you should go check out….

1. Two For The Money

In the multi-billion dollar a year industry of sports betting, there are people who will charge thousands of dollars just to give their opinion of who will win a game. And there are hundreds of thousands of people who are willing to pay them for that opinion. That’s where Al Pacino and Matthew McConaughey come in. Pacino plays Walter Abrams, the man who runs the nations largest sports prediction company, and McConaughey plays his newest protégé. Like the games they try and predict, in this relationship there is a winner and a loser, but it’s the battle between the beginning and the end that makes us really want to watch.

2. A History Of Violence

After killing two criminals in self defense during a robbery, Viggo Mortensen, a small town coffee shop owner, is thrust into the spotlight as the towns newest hero. His newfound fame brings to town Ed Harris, who seems to have a different opinion of Mortensen’s character and what exactly his past is. A thrilling hide-and-seek drama that tugs at the ties of marriage and family, and how much one’s past can effect the life they have been living and those they have been living it with.

3. V For Vendetta

Set in Europe after World War III, this film tells the tale of Natalie Portman’s character Evey, a young woman living in the fascist state of Great Britain who is saved from a life and death situation by the masked vigilante known only as “V.” Leading through both action and spirit, “V” battles the government and ignites his fellow Britains to rise up against the state. Filled with impressive stunts and special effects, this film could end up being a sleeper hit.

4. An Unfinished Life

Robert Redford, Morgan Freeman and Jennifer Lopez star in this film about a woman (Lopez) who, desperate to care for her only daughter, moves in with her estranged father-in-law (Redford). The son/husband that they once shared is dead and the wounds between the two of them run cold and deep. Through time though, their wounds begin to heal, and the forgiveness of family begins to emerge.

5. Aeonflux

In the not too distant past, the minds at MTV brought us the animated story of a female assassin set in a futuristic world ruled buy the government. That vastly popular story is now being made in to a big budget Hollywood film with Charlize Theron in the staring role. Lots of action, great special effects and a scantily clad Theron will have tons of fan boys flocking to the theaters for this one.

6. Nightwatch

In the tradition of The Matrix and The Lord Of The Rings trilogies comes an import from Russia that will leave American audiences jaw-dropped and waiting for the next chapter. The film revolves around an ages old truce between the forces of good and evil, and the keepers of that peace, the Nightwatch. Set in today’s time, an abrupt shift in the balance of power sets the world of the Nightwatch inside-out.

7. Waiting

Have you ever worked at Applebees, Tumbleweed, TGI Fridays or any of the other ump-teen million restaurants out there that all seem to have way too much in common to be different? If the answer is yes, than this movie is for you. Ryan Reynolds stars in this comedy that revolves around the lives of the employees at the local Shenanigan's restaurant. Should do for the food service industry what Office Space did for cubicles.

8. Elizabethtown

The latest story from Cameron Crowe has Orlando Bloom playing the role of Drew Baylor, a young man who after going through a wave of unfortunate events finds himself on the verge of suicide. It takes his fathers death to bring Drew back into the fold of his family and the arms of a quick-witted flight attendant played by Kirsten Dunst. The film chronicles this emotionally draining journey from beginning, to end, to beginning.

9. Serenity

Not too long ago Joss Whedon, best know for creating the tv series Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Angel, created another show called Firefly. Although the show was well reviewed, it didn’t generate enough of a buzz to be kept on the air. Despite that, Whedon was able to sell a movie studio on his futuristic tale of a rogue starship crew carrying a piece of cargo with more value that any of them know. Cargo that their enemies will do anything to get.

10. Jarhead

Jake Gyllenhaal, Peter Sarsgaard, Chris Cooper and Jamie Foxx star in this stirring film
adaptation of Marine Anthony Swofford’s memoir about the Gulf War. It follows Swofford (Gyllenhaal) from his sobering beginnings in boot camp, to the hell-on-earth heat of the Middle Eastern deserts, to eventually coming home dealing with the things he had lived through. An emotional rollercoaster of a film that will show you things through the eyes of the ones who were there.

Bonus Pick: Open Season

Ok look, I don’t know much about this animated film except that it has to do with the animals in the forest striking back against the hunters. It isn’t scheduled to come out for another year or so, but I saw the trailer and it looks absolutely hilarious. I will definitely have this one on my radar until it comes out in the fall of 2006.

Trailers for all of the above films are available for viewing at www.apple.com/trailers

Talk at ya soon,

BJS

My dad sent me this joke. Enjoy.

An older couple had a son who was still living with his
parents. The parents were a little worried as the son was
still unable to decide about his future career. They
decided to arrange a test. They took a ten-dollar bill,
a bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the
front hall table, and hid out of sight. The father figured
“If our son takes the money, he will be a businessman, if
he takes the bible, he will be a priest -- but if he takes
the bottle of whiskey, I'm afraid our son will be a drunkard.”
So, the parents waited nervously, hiding in the nearby
closet. Peeping through the keyhole they saw their son
arrive. The son saw the note they had left. Then he took
the 10-dollar bill and slid it in his pocket. After that,
he took the bible, flicked through it, and took it. Then,
he grabbed the bottle and proceeded to leave the room,
carrying all the three items. The father slapped his
forehead, and cried: “Oh no! Our son is going to be a
politician!”

Brianna, my sister Jessica, and I ventured to the Betty Brinn Children's Museum in Downtown Milwaukee this weekend. New pictures are posted in the gallery.

Brianna's Betty Brinn Excursion

Okay, there has been a fair amount of news lately about people stealing WiFi internet from their neighbors. While I do think it’s creepy for somebody to park outside of your home and use your internet connection for hours and hours at a time, I do believe it is the modem-owner’s responsibility to deny permission to the user.

In essence, if your WiFi router is not password protected, you are giving permission to any schmuck to access your network.

Here’s how:

1.) Your computer discovers the WiFi signal.
2.) Your computer (basically) asks permission from the router to connect.
3.) If the network is not password-protected, the computer connects.
4.) The router, inside whomever’s home, assigns an ip address to the computer.
5.) The router gives access to the user.

The computer asked. The router - YOUR router - said, “sure, why not.”

If you simply password protect the network, then you are denying permission to anybody who tries to access the network. If you do not, you are thereby allowing permission. Pretty simple, right? Even if you assign a really easy password, such as “1234″ or “admin,” you are denying permission to those who aren’t supposed to access your network. If they figure out your password, well, they are more or less “hacking” or “cracking” into your network. If you do not enable a password - well - it’s your own damn fault if they use your connection!

My theory is that it is much like Over the Air (OTA) television vs. DirecTV. Your television can “connect” to OTA television easily, and without a password. If you go and steal a DirecTV card and try to hack into their protected network, you are committing a crime.

So, if you don’t want your neighbors stealing accessing your network - enable a password on the S.O.B.

I have to apologize for my lack of creative work in the past few weeks. Thanks to Wendy at Boots and Sabers for kickin' me in the butt and getting me writing again.

Here's what is coming to FuzzMartin.com:

The R-Z.

My buddy Brad (BJS) is going to write again. BJS was one of the first people to actually write an article for me on my site - and I'm glad to have him back.

You will notice some differences with my new guest articles. They will be posted to the front page instead of their own side pages. You're welcome to comment away, too!

Now if we could just get O'Reilly and Dognutz to start writing again, life would be GRAND!

Welcome back, BJS!

UPDATE: BJS wanted to use his initials instead of his nickname. So… I changed it. Yee-haw!