I feel like singing…

Munchkins
Ding Dong! The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch!
Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead.
Wake up - sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed.
Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead. She’s gone where the goblins go,
Below - below - below. Yo-ho, let’s open up and sing and ring the bells out.
Ding Dong’ the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low.
Let them know
The Wicked Witch is dead!

Mayor
As Mayor of the Munchkin City, In the County of the Land of Oz, I welcome you most regally.

Barrister
But we’ve got to verify it legally, to see

Mayor
To see?

Barrister
If she

Mayor
If she?

Barrister
Is morally, ethic’lly

Father No.1
Spiritually, physically

Father No. 2
Positively, absolutely

Munchkins
Undeniably and reliably Dead

Coroner
As Coroner I must aver, I thoroughly examined her.
And she’s not only merely dead, she’s really most sincerely dead.

Mayor
Then this is a day of Independence For all the Munchkins and their descendants

Barrister
If any.

Mayor
Yes, let the joyous news be spread The wicked Old Witch at last is dead!

While perusing Boots and Sabers this morning, I came across an advertisement for RangerUp.com. I clicked over to see what kind of cool t-shirts they had (I’ll admit, the photo they used for advertising did the trick ;)), and found a collection of some of the funniest stories ever.

I literally laughed out loud while reading the “X-Games Street Luge” story, as well as the story about the “Bottle Incident.” Some of the stories are buried, so make sure you dig around.

RangerUp.com

I won’t be purchasing a shirt because, well, I’d feel like a total poser wearing a “Ranger Up” shirt.

Speaking of… one of these days I’ll tell you about how I almost joined the Air Force…

Ah, yes… your (Milwaukee’s) representatives at work…

From the Milwaukee Journal Sentinal:

Rep. Fred Kessler (D-Milwaukee) said Tuesday that the value of unused gift cards should go to the state treasury - not to the merchant - and that change will be part of a bill he’ll introduce in the legislative session starting in January.

So, because a dumbass consumer forgets to use his or her gift card, the merchant should be punished? That is the most ridiculous waste of time piece of legislation that I have ever heard of! If this were to ever be passed (though it won’t), Rep. Fred Kessler and whoever votes for this piece of crap should be tried for theft - because that’s literally all this is.

First, a definition.

Stunting: In radio, the word “stunting” refers to a radio station switching from their normal format to something “wacky” or even just “different” in order to draw attention to themselves. Stunting often occurs just before a radio station switches formats to something that they are going to stick with (i.e., playing hip hop before a station flips from rock and roll to oldies.) Stunting can also occur for a brief period of time when a station just wants some extra publicity, including April Fools Day or during the start of a ratings period.

Now, my story:

A radio station (we’ll call it XX.X) recently played all Christmas music for a few months. This morning they switched back to their previous format. For a brief period of time this morning, though, they stunted as Spirit XX.X. In other words, they pretended that they were a Christian station before switching back to their normal secular format.

I don’t normally bring up what other stations are doing on this website because, well, it’s not very ethical, nor do I normally care enough talk about competition. Besides, stations do this for publicity, and it’s not my place to give them any. This stunt, however, really struck a nerve. How can a station play Christmas music (albeit a watered-down secular Christmas format) and then “pretend” that they are actually going to play Christian music. The mocking tone of the stunt was very insulting to me, as a Christian.

The stunt was neither necessary, nor funny, nor tasteful.

Hello, all. Thanks for a great year at FuzzMartin.com. I really appreciate you stopping by.

Merry Christmas!

I needed some music to pick up/clean house before the family arrived for Christmas.
I hoped on iTunes and downloaded “The Very Best of Supertramp”. What an incredible compilation and for only $6.99! I couldn’t believe the price.

Check out these favs:
Goodbye Stranger
The Logical Song
Bloody Well Right
Breakfast in America
Take the Long Way Home
Give a Little Bit

Plus 9 other great tracks!

Click the iTunes button to d/l it for yourself.

Because you can’t get enough YouTube…and because Ben Folds rocks.

ps…do not listen to this at work / in the company of small children.

Today marked my last day of classes for the Fall 2006 semester.

Here are some quick updates for you:

1. Michael Jackson McGee didn’t show up to speak in front of our Africology class. The day that he was supposed to speak in front of our class about things the city can do to make Milwaukee more friendly towards African Americans, (e.g., start a stop snitching campaign, perjure yourself, etc.) some other things came up. McGee, a black “leader” in Milwaukee, was in the hot seat for stating that ViAnna Jordan, the woman who started a recall movement against him, should be “hung.”
2. Remember that “binder book” that I was forced to buy? Yeah… surprise surprise, they don’t take those back at the book exchange. How fitting.
3. I have a month off in which I am going to concentrate on my daughter and my career.

If all goes as planned, and it seldom does, I have exactly one year left of school.

Just in time for the holidays!

Did you ever notice that Santa Claus endorses EVERYTHING! I mean, I hear commercials dropping, “Santa’s number one choice for (insert product here)” all the time. Do you think he’s getting paid for those? Or… do you think maybe he’s just getting kickbacks to cut costs on gift giving? Hmmm…

SNL has had more “spurts” of funny in the last year than they have in the last 10. I’m glad that they’re back (kinda).

BTW… I’m not a Justin Timberlake fan - but he was funny as hell on this episode.

Tired of the jerk-stores who cut you off in traffic? Don’t shake your fist and middle finger, post their plates online and humiliate them internationally!

You can also post *winks* at people you think are nice enough to dote on in public. Click the Platewire.com banner to go right to the site

I support using the word “Christmas” in advertising, etc.  Happy Holidays is fine, but I prefer Christmas and am not offended by it.

It seems the new release of a slasher movie titled “Black Christmas” has some religious zealots in a snit.  They feel that Christmas was outlawed and now being mocked by the timing of the movie.  More specifically because “Silent Night” is played in the movie and there is a nativity scene in the movie.

Isn’t this a depiction of someone celebrating Christmas?  Isn’t that celebration being used in main-stream media?  You can’t say that “Christmas” is being outlawed and then complain when it is used in mainstream culture.  The fact is, that not everyone is going to put a pretty bow on things, just the way you want.

I’ll be celebrating Christmas and I’ll be at the theater to watch this train-wreck of a low-budget remake.  At least it will break up all of the happy feeling kids movies that the theaters are flooded with.

Thanks to TomInWestBend for pointing out that Pauly Shore didn’t really get his ass kicked. It was a hoax.

From Wikipedia:

Shore was punched to the ground after tangling with hecklers at a Texas comedy club in December 2006. Like Michael Richards’ run-in with hecklers, the incident was captured on a video mobile phone. Shore was performing at the 8th Street Comedy Club in Odessa when he became irritated with audience members talking through his performance. In an angry exchange, one club-goer in a cowboy hat took to the stage and, goaded by the audience, punched Shore’s face, causing him to fall to the floor. The heckler was then led away by what appeared to be a police officer. Shore stood up and muttered, “Fuck all you fuckin’ white trash,” before leaving the stage.

The assault was later revealed to be a hoax. The chief of police of Odessa Texas released a statement which read in part: “After viewing the video, the officer who was employed at the club in an off duty capacity, was contacted by investigators. The officer reported he had met with Mr. Shore prior to his set, and was asked to participate in the skit. The officer stated that the skit went as designed and that Shore was not injured in the designed skit.”

Hey, wasn’t Pauly Shore in Pee Wee’s Big Adventure? What? They’re different people? Could have fooled me.

Aww, hell, let’s just get all three of the world’s latest comedy blunders up here…

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you - America’s Most Racist Comedian… MICHAEL RICH-ARRRRRRRRRDS…..

Technical note… iFilm sucks. Yeay, YouTube.

The last few weeks have been pretty bad for comedians. First, Michael Richards, then Rosie O’Donnell, now… Pauly Shore:

The UW-Whitewater Warhawk football team will be playing for the Division III National Championship for the 2nd year in a row.  Last year the Warhawks lost to Mount Union College in the championship game, who they face again this year in the Stagg Bowl.  Both UW-W and Mount Union went 14-0 this season.

Check out the game on ESPN on Saturday Dec. 16.

I would sign the school fight song at this point, but whilest in college (at UW-W), I never learned it.

GO WARHAWKS!

 

Lane Garrison, better known as Tweener on FOX’s Prison Break, was involved in a fatal car accident on December 2.  A 17 year old male passenger was killed when his car ran a curb and struck a tree.  Two 15 year old girls were also passengers in the SUV.  According to reports, the teens met the 26 year old actor at a gas station and invited him to a party.  Garrison drank with the teens at the party and left with several of them to get more booze when the accident occured.

Uh, oops.  Guess you shouldn’t party with high school kids and try to be the big hollywood star.

I am here, and I am alive, but this is the end of the semester AND the Christmas season all wrapped in one convenient package. Thanks to Claude for handling 75% of the duties while I work, study, lather, rinse, repeat.