…But you’d look even hotter in an all new FuzzMartin.com “FuzzC/DC” t-shirt. The shirts are all black, with “FU/ZZ” on the front and a small “FuzzMartin.com” locker patch in the back. They are available in Medium through XX-Large, and only cost $15 (all sizes). If you buy one today, I’ll even ship it to you free!

BTW, the model is Claude. Thanks for your help, bud!

Select a Size

MLXLXXL

Having worked in a screen printing shop, I understand the ramifications of typos and printing errors on t-shirts.

Of course, my errors were never on this type of scale. Oops!

From si.com

West Virginia may have won the National Invitation Tournament, but the Mountaineers’ commemorative T-shirts are less than championship material.

They contain a misspelling.

The “West Virginia” printed on the shirts players wore after winning the NIT title with a 78-73 victory over Clemson on Thursday night is missing the last “i” in “Virginia.”

Yesterday, I recieved this call from my ex-wife: (these are not direct quotes - but they are awfully close)

B: “Mike, what are you telling our daughter that ‘penises’ are?”

Me: “Uhm… nothing… I don’t bring up penises in conversation with my daughter.”

B: “Well, this morning she told me that she has a ‘gina and boys have  toodies.”

Doh! It hit me… Ericka, a great friend and sometimes commenter on FM.com, told Brianna that boys have cooties, but girls don’t. Brianna, for some reason, decided on her own that “cooties” was the acceptable term for boy parts.

Flash forward… second call later in the day from B:

B: “You’re going to have to teach Brianna what boy parts are called.”

Me: “Why?”

B: “Because my mom tried telling her that cooties are in your hair. She said that her ‘gina is not in her hair. She won’t let go of thinking that cooties are penises.”

Me: (trying to stop laughing) “Well, I think we’re better off with her thinking penises are an icky disease.”

Unfortunately, “circle, circle, dot, dot” doesn’t make penises go away like it does the cooties. As a father, I am hoping that she always (or at least till she’s 40) thinks that penises are an icky disease.

I am glad to see that the Republicans are trying to reach out to a group that they have long excluded…bad white rappers.

I only wish this video ended with 50 cent busting in and beating down the whole lot of those guys. I guess this is the only way to go after Steven Colbert took it to G-Dubs last year.

You know what I don’t understand? Why on Earth is cheese pizza as expensive as cheese and sausage, cheese and pepperoni, the works, supreme, chicken alfredo, or even barbecue chicken pizzas? I mean, seriously? Why do I have to pay for all of the extra accoutrements when all I really want is some cheese on some sauce on some dough?

I saw a frozen cheese pizza for $6 today! $6 frickin’ dollars for a pizza with virtually nothing on it!

It’s a conspiracy against us herbivores, I tell you! BASTARDS!

They guys/girls at Apple (iTunes) got ANOTHER thing right. In the past, whenever you purchased a single and later decided that you wanted the full album instead, you had to pay for the entire CD - same single and all. Now, with the new feature they rolled out, you can purchase the full album (minus the single you already purchased) at a discount! How cool is that?

Remeber when Fuzz thought he was going to have to take one for the team, because of Adobe buying Macromedia?

It looks like all of his nightmares have become soft, fluffy dreams.

Adobe has begun the pre-launch of Creative Suite 3. With the Web Premium edition, users can get Illustrator, Photoshop, Fireworks, Dreamweaver, Flash, and some other misc. (all Pro versions, btw) for $1,600. Of course, if you want different configurations, you can always buy Fireworks as a stand alone although I don’t know why would you want to buy an inferior product. And better yet, if you have a version already you can upgrade to these titles for about 80% less.

The goal of the law banning plastic bags is to conserve 450,000 gallons of oil a year.  And the Mayor of SF is even handing out re-usable cloth bags.  Sounds great.  Where’s the problem?

The law only cites that large grocery and drug stores stop using plastic bags.  Yes, of course they are the largest users of such bags, but what about all of the other small stores that use plastic bags?  Why should they be excluded from this ban?  As much as I like to support small businesses, this law appears to be another aim at big-box stores and excludes mom and pop places.

Michael Green, the man who killed fellow UWM student, Joe Munz, pleaded guilty to killing Munz in exchange for a plea deal that will land him a maximum of 60 years, rather than life, in prison.

So now the court system is giving discounts for killing a completely innocent man who was simply trying to pay for his college education? If you recall, this sub-human piece of garbage walked up to Munz, tried to take his money, and shot him to death in cold blood. Apparently, now, Milwaukee is giving light sentences to killers. Maybe next they’ll just start handing out probation.

Speaking of that… this (gasp) isn’t Green’s first time killing somebody:

Green previously served three years behind bars after killing a 3-year-old boy in a 2001 high-speed hit-and-run accident, for which he was on extended supervision when he killed Munz.

This just sickens me.

Rest in Peace, Munz.

Owen linked to me… and got WAAAAAAAAAY more comments than I ever get. I don’t know whether to be flattered or jealous. Aww hell, I’ll be both. ;)  (thanks, O-dog)

 Mmmmmm…. Meat….

I made a shallow left turn yesterday in Menomonee Falls (turning onto Appleton from Pilgrim.) As I was jamming to whatever hit tune was pumping out of my radio station, I didn’t realize that my blinker was still on.

That was, however, until my car started “dinging” at me. I checked all of the gauges, and realized that my car was actually “dinging” as if to say - “hey, gramps, your friggin’ blinker is on. I can’t turn it off by myself, but I CAN annoy you till you do.”

I thought that was pretty sweet!

Now if they could only equip that feature in Buicks.

When you read that headline, you probably thought there was something actually important going on here on FuzzMartin.com. (as if! )  You know why? Because I don’t throw the phrase, “Breaking News,” around like it’s free.

What really gets me is when a certain news station prefaces nearly EVERY news story with “Breaking News out of _town_name_…” Seriously! I don’t think you should toss the words “Breaking News” around when there’s a car accident on the freeway, or a barn fire, or when somebody is ticketed for jaywalking. It really has gotten to the point of obsurdity.

If news is developing, call it a “developing story” or try some new phraseology. Save the “Breaking news” for terrorist plots, natural disasters, and stories of grand scale. At no time should you use, “Breaking News,” to detail a fight at a high school in which nobody is injured.

Here’s some Breaking News for you… kids have been fighting in schools since the first day schools were invented.

Here are myPod picks for this week…(what has been playing the most on my iPod recently).

Phish - Rift
John Mayer - As Is: Live in Houston 7/24/04
Peter Gabriel - Us
R.E.M. - Greatest Hit (My own compilation)
Justin Timberlake - FutureSex/LoveSounds
Phish - Junta
Rocco DeLuca & The Burder - I trust you to kill me

You have seen/heard/smelled Hollister. The clothing store that looks like a tiki-hut and you cannot see inside because it is obscured by wooden doors, plants and other misc debris. KDWB’s Dave Ryan and his daughter did a great parody of Fergie’s “Glamorous”…I give you “Hollister”. Also, see the attached glossary below if you are lost on some of the lyrics.

Hollister, Carribou, Jamba Juice, American Eagle, MySpace

For the last year or so I have been planning on graduating after this coming fall semester. I tell everybody I see, “I’m graduating in December!,” to a usual cheer of “congratulations,” and “way to go’s.”

This semester, though, I have realized that my current schedule, “get up at 3AM, go to work, go to school, get home between 9:30 and 10PM, go to bed” has started to wear so far on me and who i am, that I don’t think I can keep up this schedule through December. I don’t want my relationship with my daughter, loved ones, my friends, and myself to suffer just because I want to be Superman.

College has changed my life for the better, already. There is no sense in letting it change me for the worse at the same time.

I think I am going to forgo summer school for some quality “Mike time.” After all, I’d rather have off in the warm summer months than the cold January, February, March months. I’ll spend the cold months working on my degree with a clear mind, and spend the summers basking in the warmth of living life.

Oh… and yes, I called it “Mike time” and not “Fuzz time.” Consider yourselves insiders on my life.

Proceed.

Just a quick update on the “crazy” no meat, no fast food, no coffee diet that I am on. I am down 22 lbs. as of 3 seconds ago, and I feel tremendous. I may never go back to meat, and fast food is the LAST thing on my mind right now. I am so glad that I decided to make this crazy decision. It’s one of the best changes I’ve ever made.

Feeling healthy is great. I only have 33 lbs. to go before I reach my initial goal.

UPDATE: For the record, I have been at the gym every single day for the last week and a half, so this is not a scientific survey on not eating meat. AND… of all of the calories I take in in a day, most actually come from protein. I eat a ton of fish and whey protein (though not together)!

From CNN.com

A chemical used in rat poison was found in recalled pet food that has killed several animals and sickened hundreds of others, the food laboratory of New York state and the Animal Health Diagnostic Center at Cornell University said in a news conference Friday.

The center found the chemical aminopterin, a derivative of folic acid, in studies of several recalled cans of wet pet food manufactured and distributed by Menu Foods Inc. (up $0.38 to $3.38, Charts), of Ontario, which had recalled 60 million cans last week after the reports of sickened animals.

Aminopterin is a banned chemical in the United States, and can cause renal failure in animals, according to the center.

Menu Foods would not comment on the findings, but said it will hold a news conference at 4 p.m. ET in Toronto.

A class-action lawsuit has been filed by a Wisconsin resident.  Expect a big payout for the pet owners.  I am not a fan of lawsuits, but as a pet owner I sympathize with fellow pet owners.  This is completely irresponsible of Menu Foods, considering they supply food in many name brands sold nationwide, including Safeway, Wal-Mart, and Petsmart.  READ YOUR LABELS!

It looks like Nintendo has attracted a new audience for their new video game system, Wii. Senior citizens have begun to play video games using Wii’s motion sensitive controller, which allows players to act-out the motions in the games they play. Bowling, tennis, and other such physical activities are favorites of people everywhere, but most seniors cannot enjoy these activities they once did. A 10 pound bowling ball isn’t easy to throw around, but using Wii’s controllers, now everyone can enjoy these activities.

Padadigm shift in progress. Watch for new game titles targeting this audience!

The best lyrics to come out of Nashville in a while…

Cause I’d like to see you, out in the moonlight
I’d like to kiss you, way back in the sticks
I’d like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I’d like to check you for ticks.

The song is called, “Ticks,” and it’s by Brad Paisley.

Every time I see Sarah Jessica Parker’s shampoo ads, I can’t help but think, “this stuff better be pretty strong to get all that smoke out of her hair. Ick!”

I don’t know what it is about SJP, but I think she is so dang ugly!

Carry on.