It ain’t always pretty, but it’s real.

~Rodney Atkins, These Are My People

I was reading Boots and Sabers (as part of my multiple-times-daily routine) and came across Wendy’s post on Rachel Lucas. It is not often that I add people to my little “blogroll” (bottom right under “friends of the show”), but I am definitely adding Rachel. She’s witty, to the point, and she seasons her posts with just the right amount of vulgarity to keep me interested. Plus, I hear she hates cats. (j/k.) I suggest you read her site.

Hat tips: Triticale via Wendy

A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future.

~Sidney J. Harris

Every moment of your life is either a test or a celebration. The same is true about every moment with your woman, only doubly so. Not only is her simple existence a test for you, but one of her deepest pleasures in intimacy is testing you, and then feeling you are not moved off course by her challenge.

~David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man

By the way, The Way of the Superior Man is one of the best books I have ever read, and I highly recommend it to any man.

…but my little girl and I just got caught in a thunderstorm and it was a whole lot of fun! Except, for about the last 10 blocks of our walk, she sang:

Rain, Rain, go away,
Come again another day,
Barney’s friends all want to play,
Rain, Rain, go away… (lather, rinse, repeat)

Darn that Barney!!!

Anyway… I don’t think I’ve had that much fun in the rain in a long time. :)  Time to go put on some dry clothes!!!

You could have woke up this morning to find out that you are actually Lindsay Lohan (or HOhan as she is affectionately called).

The Lindsay Lohan drunk driving/cocaine/back-in-rehab story.

Keep your mind open to change all the time. Welcome it. Court it. It is only by examining and reexamining your opinions and ideas that you can progress.

~Dale Carnegie

Congrats to fellow FM.com author, Claude, and his wife! A little after 8am this morning, they became proud new parents of an 8.0lb., 21.5″ baby girl.

Let the fun begin! Congratulations, C!

I’m not always a nerd; sometimes I’m asleep.

~Some other nerd

This morning… my wonderful afternoon guy, Josh, said, “Fuzz — you need a day off. Why don’t you take Friday off and get in a long weekend.” (I have to work on Monday, so I wasn’t getting the normal 3-day weekend.)

Josh had a great idea. So, that is just what I’m going to do. Here are my plans for the weekend:

Thursday night: up-in-the-air.
Friday/Friday night: nothing.
Saturday/Saturday night: nothing.
Sunday/Sunday night: spending some quality time with some quality company.
Monday: back to work (though it’s a light schedule).

I am SO looking forward to this weekend. I haven’t had nothing to do in a while.

If The Phone Doesn’t Ring, It’s Me.

~Jimmy Buffett

I hope people have enough sense to complain about these two a-holes and the Redskins drop their contracts. Clinton Portis and Chris Samuels. If you want to send a message to the club, follow this link and send them to “Community Outreach”.

Nice of the team to try and save face on the “too little, too late” PR statement.

From SportsIllustrated.com

Washington Redskins players Clinton Portis and Chris Samuels defended Michael Vick on Monday by ridiculing the notion that dog fighting is considered a crime.

In an interview with WAVY-TV, Portis said that if the Atlanta Falcons quarterback is charged and convicted of being involved in a dog fighting operation, then authorities would be “putting him behind bars for no reason.”

“I don’t know if he was fighting dogs or not,” Portis said. “But it’s his property; it’s his dogs. If that’s what he wants to do, do it.”

(more…)

The Washington County Board got something right last night by admitting that they got something wrong earlier. I was not a fan of giving Cabela’s $4 Million to located to Richfield, but when the Board decided to play the role of the indian-giver and take back the money after Cabela’s already built in the area, I sided with Cabela’s.

Now, after the scrutiny they received for voting to renege on their promise, they have once again flip-flopped, and will indeed give Cabela’s their due subsidy.

So… all that really comes of this is that the Washington County Board looks like a bunch of waffling dumbasses. Yeay for our county!

Here’s a cool toy that will show you how much of your favorite energy drink/coffee/soda/etc. it would take to kill you. I’m sure it’s not completely accurate… but it’s sure fun to play with.

http://www.energyfiend.com/death-by-caffeine/

Here is what it would take to kill me:

• Monster Energy Drink (my fav): 121.88 cans
• Rockstar Zero Carb (my 2nd fav): 47.40 cans
• Starbucks Grande Coffee: 45.87 cups
• Diet Pepsi:  473.96 cans

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

~Oliver Wendell Holmes (qtd. in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People)

I couldn’t find a picture of the Orange can, so I had to go with this one. Have to say, not too bad, considering the can looks like it was designed by a 7th grader. This stuff even contains 50% Juice, better than SoBe’s healthy pomegranite crap I mentioned a few ED posts back (SICK!). Joker Orange has a bubble-gum like finish, which is surprisingly tasty.

****** 6/10 ED Stars

If I could have fit it in, the full title for this edition of Fuzz’s Top Five would have been, “Fuzz’s Top 5: Women I Don’t Find Attractive, Though Everybody Else Seems to Think So.”

Let’s do it:

1. Angelina Jolie:
    
   There is something about this woman that I simply cannot stand. I don’t know if it is the way she holds herself, the fact that she was with Billy Bob Thorton and carried a vile of his blood around her neck, or just because she looks like a drowned sewer rat. Either way, people think she’s hot, and I simply don’t.
    
2. Jennifer Aniston:
    
   First, and no offense to those of you who liked the show, Friends, but I could not stand that show. I would have easily lumped Courtney Cox into this Top Five, but she’s irrelevant. Unlike most people, when I see Jennifer Aniston, I think, “ick.”
    
3. Lindsay Lohan:
    
   My mom told me never to pick on those less fortunate… but I can’t resist. Watching this girl deteriorate is like watching a train derail, only to have a crew put it back on the tracks so that they can watch it derail again. She’ll be dead before she’s 30. (how’s your dead pool doing, btw?)
    
4. Paris Hilton:
    
   This is the woman that I usually get the most ridicule from when I say that I don’t think she’s all that hot. In fact, Squirrel once said to me, “whatever, man… you’d hit that.” Uhm… no. Not even with your “!!!!” and Claude pushing… alright.
    
5. Cameron Diaz:
    
   I thought she was cute in “The Mask.” After the first time I heard her open her mouth, though, I was instantly turned off. I mean… no deal. I have a “thing” for intelligent women. Cameron Diaz may be intelligent - but if you’ve ever heard her talk, she sounds like she has the IQ of a nematode.
    

There you go. You may love them. The world may think they’re hot. I, however, think they’re not.

I’m trying to figure out where the hell that damn word (or non-word), “ridonkulous,” was born. It’s obviously, “ridiculous,” with extra emphasis on jackassery, but I would really like to know where it was coined.

Any thoughts?

Almost everything–all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure–these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

~Steve Jobs

What’s up with a high of 50-ish-degrees today? It’s the weekend before Memorial Day. It’s supposed to be at least 20-degrees warmer… and sunny! Ugh!

Welcome to Wisconsin, I guess. Unfortunately, I think the “global warming” palm trees that I planted in my backyard aren’t going to survive.

Mayyyyybe it’s a good day to go see Shrek the 3rd. Yeah… maybe my munchkin and I will go do that.