Fuzz on Beer Reviews
June 20th, 2007 by FuzzSince I decided to start reviewing beers here on FuzzMartin.com, I have been checking out different beer review sites to find the “proper” formatting for said reviews. Let me just say that beer reviewers are SO completely full of themselves it is ridiculous. I mean, you’re talking about BEER! Get over yourselves.
Here are two examples of what I’m talking about:
From BeerAdvocate.com:Â
Pours a deep copper with a decent initial head and some spotty lacing. The smell is somewhat alcoholic, but its pretty subtle. There are also nice citrusy hops and the usual Lagunitas malt backbone. The taste is similar, but the hops are more pronounced with a spicy hop flavor, more pronounced grapefruit and orange pith.
From RateBeer.com:
It pours a beautiful amber beer with a small disappearing beige head. Aromas of malt, raisins, melon, sorbet and a hint of vanilla. A very nice nose. The taste is of melon, malts of a good blend, some alcohol. A perfectly balanced strong ale. The flavors remind me a bit of a belgian trappist; fairly low bitterness. There is a madeira touch to this beer. Some caramel shows up just before the finish with some grassiness, slight butteriness.
Guys, guys, guys… It’s phucking beer, not wine.
The best reviews I’ve found HAVE to be from The Opinionated Beer Page (TOBP.com) Those guys are funny, and they do reviews the way I like to do them. Quit rating the friggin’ head and tell me a) how the beer tastes, b) how you feel when drinking it, and c) how you feel when you’re done drinking it. I want an opinion, not to hear how smart you are regarding malted hops and barley. Seriously!
So, all of my beer reviews are going to be straight forward. I’ll tell you if I like the beer or not, why or why not, and if I would ever buy it again. Simple. Straightforward. Sexy.
