Single Dad Advice: Swearing
July 19th, 2007 by FuzzWe’ve all been there. Gravity takes hold of something that stains and spills it on something that’s expensive. Out of your mouth rolls some four-letter expletive that just happens to fall within earshot of your little bundle of joy. Your instinct is to quickly downplay the “naughty word,” and explain to your child that you were bad and that you shouldn’t have said “that word.” Unfortunately, isolating the word and putting it on a “naughty” pedestal is far worse than the fact that you let it slip in the first place.
In the rare case where I do swear near my daughter, instead of reinforcing the word, I simply bury it in conversation. Talk about something else right away. Move on. Don’t sit and dwell on the word and your child will be less likely to have it programmed into his or her brain.
Now, I’m not saying that it’s acceptable to swear so long as you use the above technique, but in moderation it can get you out of a jam without actively reinforcing the word into your child’s vocabulary. There are no guarantees with this, either. Some kids will pick up words even if you don’t reinforce them - especially if you overuse those words in specific situations (you spill something, a person cuts you off, etc.).
Even better technique: mind what you say and around whom you say it.
July 19th, 2007 at 1:05 pm
They are going to swear at some point no matter what you say or do. You did and I’m sure your parents took all of those precautions when you were little. It’s a rotten part of our culture to make some words bad and thus glorify them even more. It’s better to teach them that there are situations where you can and cannot say certain words as you will sound stupid and ignorant to those listening. Try to teach them that there are better and more intelligent words to use to express feelings. Also try to use those words yourself and you will find your children emulating you. And don’t feel bad my prim and proper 65 year old mother in law accidentally taught my 2 year old to say “oh shit” and she is mortified every time she hears it from his mouth. Funny stuff.
July 19th, 2007 at 8:08 pm
I agree, putting them on a pedestal makes it much, much worse. Thanks to dh, “fart” sends the children into hysterics. And in a house-full of boys, this is going to get old really fast.
July 22nd, 2007 at 5:09 am
Fart jokes never get old to boys of any age. He He He………