On Notice: Bicyclists
May 27th, 2008 by ClaudeTagged as: bicyclists, On Notice.
My affinity for the Colbert Report is no secret. So, to honor Stephen and his great contributions to the world, I am implementing my own “On Notice” board on FuzzMartin.com (by Claude…not Fuzz).
On Notice: Bicyclists
These innocent, happy-go-lucky travelers are everywhere these days. With the increase in gas prices and the new stylish fashion statement of rolling up your pant leg, it’s no wonder their numbers have multiplied.
I have to give a big tisk-tisk to all bicyclists, as they want vehicles to “share the road” with them…but they will not yield to the more dominant transportation methods. In a natural selection of the roadways, bicyclists should know their place. I will share whatever room is leftover on the road when I come cruising by in my Lincoln Navigator while drinking my iced mocha-latte from McDonalds on my way to work (Starbucks is soooo March 2008).
Bicyclists, you have been put On Notice. Next time you breeze through that 4-way stop, don’t expect an out-of-court settlement when you find yourself looking up at my SUV’s undercarriage.
May 27th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Haha! Nice!
I saw people at school who would wear those awful snap bracelets (circa 1988) so that they could snap them around their legs when they go bicycling. i can’t believe that I forgot to write about that!
May 28th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
I couldn’t agree more. They want their part of the road, but apparently none of the rules as well. Lights, signs, yielding, being careful, all mean nothing to the two wheeliacs. I’m with you . . . obey the rules or I’ll be mailing your teeth that I’ve picked out of my grill back to you.
May 29th, 2008 at 7:51 am
I had another encounter with one of these maniacs, yesterday. Approaching a 4 way stop, I arrived first and a bicyclist in the oncoming lane just blew through the stop sign. I clearly had the right of way and honked at him, while he scowled at me.
I guess I should have known he didn’t want to stop because he would lose all of his speed/momentum. TOUGH!
Next time it will be man vs. machine…that momentum will carry you nicely over the hood of my car!