I’ve learned a few things while photographing models over the past few years.

Good Model:

Bad Model:

No good…

Models: Rachel & Bryan

Just checking to make sure that FuzzMartin.com is working correctly. We jumped servers last night (when my hosting company said, “tonight,” apparently they meant “two-nights… from now.”

PHP5 seems to be working okay.

Alright, I’m off to a weekend long photo shoot. Stay right, homies.

NSFW, but I love this song (via the old Zefrank site):

*Note* - the guy’s name is Ray - but it’s obviously not Ray Charles. He sang it for his daughter who was having a rough day at work and he because quasi-famous.

A few months ago, I downloaded Firefox 3 for all of the computers that I use on a daily basis. Now I am regretting that. It’s slow, buggy, and I honestly liked the old look more than I do this semi-new layout.

Any of you experiencing the same garbage?

You know those two jamokes who claimed that they found Bigfoot? Well, it turns out that they had a really big rubber suit in that cooler.

From CNN:

Whitton and Dyer announced last week that they had found the body of a 7-foot-7-inch, 500-pound half-ape, half-human creature while hiking in the north Georgia mountains in June. They said they put the carcass in a freezer and had spotted about three similar living creatures.

“We were not looking for Bigfoot,” Whitton, a Clayton County, Georgia, police officer, said Friday during a news conference. “We wouldn’t know what we were doing if we did.”

He and Dyer insisted that scientific analysis would bear out their claim.

The hoax was discovered after an “expedited melting process,” Kulls wrote. “A break appeared up near the feet area … as the team and I began examining this area near the feet, I observed the foot which looked unnatural, reached in and confirmed it was a rubber foot.”

It sounds like these two are going to get sued by all of the people who were ready to perform tests on the “animal.” The “police officer’s” career is also going to be over. There’s no way that he can ever testify in a trial after conducting  a lie this big.

This is a pretty slick video of an F-16 pilot landing his bird with no engine. It’s pretty exhilarating.

FuzzMartin.com and a bunch of other domains that I use will be jumping servers later this morning. The site will probably be down for awhile as the settings are changed and the DNS settings are changed. I know this info isn’t going to rock anybody’s world, but I just thought I’d give everybody the head’s up so you’re not like, “wtfbbq,” when you get the swirling hourglass or the “page cannot be found” error.

My dad sent me a link to a new program called Jing. Check out my quick intro to it:

UPDATE: I have noticed one problem and received confirmation from the developer — you can’t resize videos. So, if you want to take a screen vid of something and throw it on your Wordpress site, it has to be no more than 440px wide before you start messing up your template. Boo!

Over the past month or so, I have been updating the website for Waukesha’s BGS Glass. After trying to make a home-brewed template and engine, I decided that just couldn’t nail them both down in a time frame that was acceptable to me. Instead, I decided to use WordPress as the site’s base. BGSGlass.com has a similar look and feel as FuzzMartin.com, but I’m hoping that the WordPress Kubrick theme will prove to be a huge asset when it comes to Search Engine Optimization and layout flexibility.

For those who don’t know, I used to work at BGS Glass when I was a kid. It’s a great family-owned operation that is crazy-go-nuts about providing quality work. When you need commercial storefronts or residential glass work in Milwaukee, Waukesha, or anywhere in Southeastern Wisconsin, I highly recommend that you use BGS Glass.

Tracy and I headed west to Spring Green this weekend to go camping and tubing down the Wisconsin River with about 20 friends, old and new. I had never been tubing down a river before - it was extremely fun. Everybody we met was very cool and each and every one of them had some crazy important job (lawyer, doctor, stem-cell researcher, etc.). It made saying that I am a radio personality sound like I flip burgers at the local BK. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Thanks to Schwab for putting it all together. What a great time! I’m still exhausted.

I’ve had this stupid song in my head all day. And, when I get stupid songs in my head, sometimes I morph them into even dumber parodies. I’ve been doing it since I was old enough to remember. It must be genetic — my dad does it and my daughter does, now, too. The following parody is too raunchy for my my daughter to hear, though… and, therefore, it is a tad too risque for my show. So… here you go — the actual song precedes my adolescent lyrics.  — Play it and sing along with my words for the best effect.

A Raunchy Rebuttal/Parody of Taylor Swift’s, “Should’ve Said No,” by Fuzz Martin

I remember how I used to think
You were always kind of a big skank
That’s gone

I think I’ve had about enough of you
So I started sneakin’ ’round behind you
I’m gone

You say that you want me back
I’ll give you one chance
To let me back into your pants
And you say “no.”

You should have said “yes”
When I asked you for sex
Then I wouldn’t have been sleeping with your friends
Like Ginger
Or your best friend, Britney
You shouldn’t have said “no” every time
Cuz’ it’s the only thing on my mind
Oh, I forgot about your sister’s friend, Denise
You should have said “yes”
Baby then you might still have me

You can see that I’ve been trying
I usually know all the right things
To say

But do you honestly
Expect me to believe
You have another headache

I say “just lay down on your back”
Please give me one chance
To open your bra clasp
And you say, “no.”

You should have said “yes”
When I asked you for sex
Then I wouldn’t have been sleeping with your friends
Like Makayla
Or your friend’s mom, Ms. Beverly
You shouldn’t have said “no” every time
Cuz’ it’s the only thing on my mind
Oh, I can’t forget your neighbor, Kimberly
You should have said “yes”
Baby then you might still have me

You’re allowed to resist
But that’s enough of this
Well, that’s perfect
All I hear is
No, no, no, no, no, no

You should have said “yes”
When I asked you for sex
Then I wouldn’t have been sleeping with your friends
Like Taylor
Or your dad’s new wife, Marlene
You shouldn’t have said “no” every time
Cuz’ it’s the only thing on my mind
Last night I nailed your sister, Bobbie Lee
You should have said “yes”
Baby then you might still have me

—–

Rereading my last post about the Olympics reminded me of this song:

!!!(NSFW - IN FACT, DEFINITELY NOT SAFE FOR WORK/CHILDREN/NUNS/PRUDES/ETC.)!!!

Watching this year’s Olympics has been a treat. With all of the anti-American garbage we hear day in and day out, it is nice to see us pull together and kick some international ass. The story lines behind Michael Phelps and his records, the Dream Team / Redeem Team, Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor, the gymnast from ’stAllis with the broken ankle, and countless others have just been phenomenal. I love this country!

Now that everybody is finally done talking about Brett Favre, I am open to invitations to join the FuzzMartin.com Fantasy Football Challenge. On the line is my lone-remaining FuzzMartin.com t-shirt that will go to the winner. I promise it’s not dusty. I don’t promise that it will fit.

To join the league, go to: http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/ - click on the bottommost “join a league” link.

League ID: 415251
League password: fuzzy

When I have 10 people signed up, I’ll get the autodraft ready.

Oh, yeah, it’s free — in case you were wondering.

In a politics, campaign managers and PR reps will tell you it’s all about relating to people. Selling their candidate to you as a brand…as a general rule, people vote for the candidate who they connect with the best. The person they would want to sit around a listen to music and drink beer on a Friday night.

In the attempts to further that message…Blender Magazine (a shell-brand for Maxim, who’s focus is all things music and getting young female artists to pose semi-nude on the cover) reports on Obama and McCain’s Top 10 favorite songs. The songs are listed below and I put in SeeqPod players below each list, so you can enjoy the music!

Here is the list they (their publicists) gave to Blender.

People are calling new Green Bay quarterback, Aaron Rodgers, “A-Rod.” Until that boy shaves that crazy-scruffy beard that he’s growing, I am only going to refer to him as, “A-Raj.”

Here are a few photos of me racing:

1. Me trash talking Gilbert Brown

2. Into Turn 2

3. Taking Bill Michaels through Turn 2

4. Lapped car of Scott Slow-pez (I’m in purple, he’s in black)

5. Gilbert Brown winning race

6. Pulling into the pits (as Driver/Owner Mike Graczkowski opens my window net)

7. (prior to my race) Mike Graczkowski winning Midwest Sportsman Feature by a mile!

Kosuke Fukudome.

I don’t really have anything else to say that wouldn’t be filled with pubescent potty-mouth language.

Here is some fan footage of WTMJ 4’s Lance Allen spinning out last night at the Slinger Super Speedway. I am the third car to fly around him (the purple one) after he stops.