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Next thing you know, the Bud Bowl will be a soccer game!

It had been 40 days since I had enjoyed a beer. So, yesterday I made it my tertiary mission (behind getting engaged and celebrating Easter) to try a delicious microbrew. While driving around taking photos, we stopped at Acorn Beverage in Whitewater, WI. They claimed to have over 100 micro brews on their sign out front. I only counted 77 (I keed, I keed), but they seemed to have a great variety of beers that I had never heard of.

I settled on Founders Brewing’s Dirty Bastard. It’s a Scotch Ale and it’s friggin’ dark and delicious. My mom’s husband, Forrest, said, “damn, that’s strong.” And he was correct. For not having a sip of alcohol in 40 days, this was definitely a kick in my low-tolerance-having ass. Delicious!

(Note to BD and TomInGR: Dirty Bastard is brewed in Grand Rapids)

I drank three and took a nap. Man, I’m a friggin’ lightweight.

/10 bottles of beer on the wall.

The last time that I was in Breckenridge, CO, I purchased a sampler pack of Breckenridge Brewery’s different kinds of beer. I was pretty surprised, today, when I walked into John’s Liquor in West Bend and found a bunch of different kinds of Breck. There were some that I had tried already, but then I saw “Vanilla Porter,” and I had to try it.

My initial thought on the beer: it tastes too much like Vanilla Coke. Actually, the vanilla tastes so artificial that it’s hard to drink. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had worse, but this isn’t the best beer that I’ve ever tasted. If it were more “beery” with less “vanilla,” it would be a good beer. Unfortunately, they overdid it.

/10 Bottles of beer on the wall.

A friend of mine (who will be 30 in just 51 weeks … HA!) threw had a birthday party, yesterday, that started at the Sprecher Brewery. I didn’t know what to think about it before we got there, but I have to say that the $3 it takes to go on the Sprecher Brewery Tour is WELL worth it! The plant is pretty cool to see, but the beer at the end is even better.

My favorite beers from the tour:

• Triple Abbey
• Russian Imperial Stout (which is as dark as the night is black)
• and the Bourben Barrel Scotch Ale

I also like Sprecher’s Special Amber (the beer they sell the most of), but it gives me a headache if I drink more than one glass.

Anyway, if you have an hour to spare one afternoon, I highly recommend getting a group of friends together to go take the tour. It’s a great time.

While I was in Las Vegas, we stayed at the Mirage. Just down the strip a little bit was one of Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville Restaurants/Bars. Outside there was a huge advertisement for Buffett’s new beer, Landshark Lager. I said that I wanted to go try one, and three other guys were down for one, too. Since I made the guys divert their plans for a few moments just so that I could try a new beer, I figured I’d follow man law and buy the round.

Four Landshark Lagers - $26. Yup. $6.50 a beer, and we weren’t even at a ballgame. But… I digress.

The beer was okay. Actually, it was pretty blah. I’m not saying it was terrible, but if I were Jimmy Buffett, I don’t know if I would want to slap my name all over it. That’s all I’m saying.

/10 bottles of beer on the wall

So, I was making dinner for some friends yesterday (ahem!) and I brought over some good beer (Sam Adams Cream Stout). At some point, while I was stirring in the shrimp, I looked over and found a certain someone pouring some beer into the sink. I didn’t bring  it up to him that I saw him, but I was thinking, “dude…  you don’t HAVE to like it… just let a brother know.” Later, as I was leaving, I decided to see if he was actually pouring beer into the sink or to see if it was just an accident. I said, “hey, do you want me to leave this beer here, or should I take it home?” He said, “you know, I really don’t like cream beers.” That’s all I needed to know. I’ll give him points for trying to not make me feel bad about not liking my choice of beer, but I felt like roasting him for fun.

The first-ever FuzzMartin.com Beer Review Party is coming soon!

Here are the basics:

1. There will be 6-12 guest reviewers.
2. Each participant is to bring a 6- or 12-pack of a kind of beer that they have never tried before. The more obscure, the better!
3. Portions of the party will be recorded via audio and/or video to be published on the website.
4. Each guest will be required to write down their thoughts on each type of beer they try.
5. Floorspace will be available for sleeping if need be.

If you’re interested in being a guest, please let me know. I am thinking of holding this event on Saturday, October 6th, starting at 6pm, but that’s not set in stone yet.

Though I don’t often pick favorites when it comes to beer, music, or movies, I have to say that Sam Adams Cherry Wheat is my favorite beer out right now. It has more of a “wintery” taste to it, but sitting here in the air conditioning, I don’t care what season it is. Sam Adams Cherry Wheat friggin’ rocks.

Don’t let the “cherry” part of the name fool you. This doesn’t taste like Leinenkugel’s Berry Weiss or anything like that. This tastes like a thick ale with a hint of cherry. It is phenomenal.

I’m not even going to write anymore because it is that good. Go buy some, if you can find it (it sells out fast at our local PW).

/10 bottles of beer on the wall.

People in Montana don’t have much else to do but herd cattle, clean their assault rifles, and drink. So, I was not surprised at all to find that the most delicious beer I’ve tasted in months, Moose Drool Brown Ale, hails from Missoula, Montana.

I’ve said before, I like my beer dark. This beer is dark. It is smooth. It is tasty. There’s no bad aftertaste. If you’re into head (tee-hee) there’s a rich, thick, creamy head. I am going to put this on my list of top picks. I don’t necessarily have a list of top picks yet, but I assure you that when I do, Moose Drool will be at or near the top.

If you can find it, pick up a six-pack today!!!

/10 bottles of beer on the wall

Tonight seemed as good of a night as any to try a new (to me) beer. So, I headed down to my local Piggly Wiggly (that’s all we have, but they have a good selection there) and found Capital Brewery’s Fest Beer. Seeing that SummerFEST starts today, and I’ve liked most of the other Capital Brewery brews that I have tried, I decided to give this one a go ’round.

Fest Beer is yellowish, a tad on the bitter side, and though the box says that it’s “light and refreshing,” it actually has a pretty bad piquancy that lingers. Me = not impressed.

/10 bottles of beer on the wall.

Tonight, I am reviewing Corona. Why? Because if I were stranded on an island, or at a barbecue, or, you know, at a bar with friends, I’d drink Corona. So, why not tonight in my kitchen next to my beautiful MacBook Pro.

First, let me just say that reviewing Corona is a lot like reviewing tap water. I’m not saying that it’s because Corona tastes like tap water, I’m saying it’s because, like tap water, everybody already knows what Corona tastes like. It’s delicious. It is also a well-known fact that Corona’s deliciousness factor increases by 17 when accompanied by a lime.  I am rollin’ sans lime tonight, but I’ll be okay.

So, what else do you want me to say? It’s Corona. It’s flippin’ good.

/10 Bottles of beer on the wall

Rocky’s Revenge. It’s a brown ale. I don’t know if I have mentioned this yet, but I like my beer like I like my coffee — thick, black, disgusting, and thick again. I want to feel like I am drinking a loaf of bread. Rocky’s Revenge by Tyranena (of Lake Mills, WI) definitely does that for me. It is kinda smoooooth. It has a smoky aftertaste to it. I can drink it whether it’s cold or “not quite that cold.” It’s really thick. I can dig it.

/10 bottles of beer on the wall

Since I decided to start reviewing beers here on FuzzMartin.com, I have been checking out different beer review sites to find the “proper” formatting for said reviews. Let me just say that beer reviewers are SO completely full of themselves it is ridiculous. I mean, you’re talking about BEER! Get over yourselves.

Here are two examples of what I’m talking about:

From BeerAdvocate.com: 

Pours a deep copper with a decent initial head and some spotty lacing. The smell is somewhat alcoholic, but its pretty subtle. There are also nice citrusy hops and the usual Lagunitas malt backbone. The taste is similar, but the hops are more pronounced with a spicy hop flavor, more pronounced grapefruit and orange pith.

From RateBeer.com:

It pours a beautiful amber beer with a small disappearing beige head. Aromas of malt, raisins, melon, sorbet and a hint of vanilla. A very nice nose. The taste is of melon, malts of a good blend, some alcohol. A perfectly balanced strong ale. The flavors remind me a bit of a belgian trappist; fairly low bitterness. There is a madeira touch to this beer. Some caramel shows up just before the finish with some grassiness, slight butteriness.

Guys, guys, guys… It’s phucking beer, not wine.

The best reviews I’ve found HAVE to be from The Opinionated Beer Page (TOBP.com) Those guys are funny, and they do reviews the way I like to do them. Quit rating the friggin’ head and tell me a) how the beer tastes, b) how you feel when drinking it, and c) how you feel when you’re done drinking it. I want an opinion, not to hear how smart you are regarding malted hops and barley. Seriously!

So, all of my beer reviews are going to be straight forward. I’ll tell you if I like the beer or not, why or why not, and if I would ever buy it again. Simple. Straightforward. Sexy.

It’s a nice day. I thought I’d hang outside and write a little before I mow the lawn. And, in so, I thought it would be very tasty to sit outside while drinking a light, refreshing beer. My beer of choice today: Miller CHILL. I wrote CHILL in all caps because they felt the need to do so on the bottle. It kinda screams, “Hey! You! CHILL!” Anyway, it’s the perfect day to drink a beer (albeit alone) outside and enjoy the weather.

So, now for a little back story. Eight or so years ago I got really drunk off of Tequiza at my cousin Pete’s wedding. So drunk, in fact, that I spent the night vomiting. Not a good time. I vowed from that day forward never to drink a Tequiza again.

Imagine my surprise when I opened my bottle of Miller Chill only to smell that same limey smell… Yup. Anheuser-Busch has Tequiza, and now Miller Brewing has Miller Chill. It’s pretty much, well, the same thing. I decided to suck it up (so to speak) and give it a try.

Lo and behold, it is light, crisp, clean, and has a good limey taste too it. Very delicious, in fact. A woman I work with, who’s husband works for Miller, told me that it tastes like Corona. I beg to differ. Even with a lime, this tastes NOTHING like Corona, but everything like a Tequiza.

For being a macro-brew, I was impressed.

/10 bottles of beer on the wall.

After I realized that I can write off my energy drinks if I write about them on the site, I figured out that I should probably start doing the beer reviews that I’ve always told myself that I should be doing. I mean, if I can write off energy drinks… writing of beer will be even sweeter! If I can only remember to keep my receipts, that is.

Also, the energy drink reviews on this site have brought some great traffic to the site (thanks Claude).  People like beer… so I’m sure it will be a hit, too.

So… look for beer reviews on FuzzMartin.com soon. In fact, later today (if I get to it) I will review the beer I enjoyed last night, Tyranena Brewing Company’s “Three Beaches Honey Blonde.”