Another home run for Starbucks. This tasty little drink doesn’t have many ingredients, but it sure tastes good. Basically, this drink has coffee, milk, and sugar - you know, like a regular cup of coffee (though I take my coffee black as night). There isn’t much else you really need to know about this well-established iced coffee drink. The only thing that I really don’t like about it is that it’s in a glass bottle, and when you’re walking into work at 4 in the morning, the condensation makes it a tad slippery. (how’s that for some nitpicking?)

The regular “coffee” version didn’t taste as good as the mocha version, so I’ll give this baby 8/10 today.

******** 8/10 ED Stars

SoBe Essential Orange… it’s a “flavored energy juice drink.” Ah… the old “juice drink” routine. While the pomegranate version of this same drink only has 7% juice, I am pleased to say that the “orange drink” has a whopping 30%. That extra 23% helps it out slightly. But I don’t have a ton of good things to say about SoBe’s Essential line. It leaves a lot to be desired.

The good news is that I heard on some business news show, yesterday, that SoBe would be trying to revive the brand in the coming months. So, hopefully they won’t simply try to put lipstick on the pig that is their Essential line. If they just come out with a new can and don’t alter the ingredients at all, they’re going to wind up right where they are now…

…and that’s with a 3/10 ED Star rating:

*** 3/10 ED Stars

Since they’ve been out since I was a kid, I never thought to review Starbucks Frappuccino. After I reviewed the Monster Java series, though, I thought I’d give it a shot.

In a word: impressive. The thing I like most about the Starbucks Mocha Frappuccino is that they use real ingredients. I’ll list them: brewed coffee, reduced fat milk, sugar, cocoa, pectin, and ascorbic acid. Obviously they need a few items (pectin and ascorbic acid) to keep it fresh in the stores, but to use real milk, sugar, and cocoa was impressive to me. It was almost like I had walked into my local Sbucks and bought this freshly brewed.

Delightful.

********* 9/10 ED Stars

I am still addicted to energy drinks…apparently I have hooked Fuzz as well.  Let’s hope he doesn’t end up in the Betty Ford Clinic with Lindsey Lohan…ok…I’m getting on with it.

 I stopped by a Speedway the other day (that’s Super America to everyone in Milwaukee) and found that they are the biggest provider of Monster Energy Drinks.  They had a whole cooler door filled with Monster products.  It was no surprise that they had one I had never seen before, Monster M-80. I checked Monster’s website, and M-80 isn’t even listed on it, yet…so this is pretty new stuff!

Like every other Monster product, it has the same can, but a yellow M and M-80 below that.  I think the taste is supposed to be on the “juicy” side.  Kind of a pineapple and pear mix, along with that same great Monster taste.   I always preferred Rockstar Energy Drink, but I think Fuzz has brought me over to the dark side and I am becoming a Monster Energy Drink guy! 

Check this one out if you have  chance, Monster M-80 is really great!

********* 9/10 ED Stars

It was suggested that I compile all of our energy drink reviews into one happy little quick-reference page. And so, I did it.

The complete list of FuzzMartin.com energy drink reviews.

Surprise, surprise. I went to my local Kwik Trip and found a new energy drink to try.

When I first picked up the can of Unbound Energy, I incorrectly assumed that it would be loaded with high-fructose corn syrup. It was a nice surprise to see that it doesn’t contain any high-fructose corn syrup at all. Of course, the sucrose and sucralose can’t be good for you, but if I decided to start reading labels that closely, I probably wouldn’t continue my energy drink reviewing ways.

Let’s get this out of the way real quick-like… Unbound Energy is not the best energy drink I’ve ever tried. It tastes like a blatant mixture of a good energy drink, Rockstar, with a bad energy drink, Wildlife. So, if they were going for a wild rockstar, they missed the mark. It would be like putting ink in your water because you like water and you like the color blue.

*** 3/10 ED Stars

Phew… that is THE longest title EVAH!!!! I felt like Tikki Tikki Tembo writing that. Hopefully, I’m never dying of thirst whilst asking for an Arizona Pomegranate Lite Green Tea Energy Drink, for I will certainly perish.

Enough with the nonsense.

I have been drinking Arizona Green Tea for years now. I loves it. It’s light, delicious, and when I drink it, I know it’s Arizona. The Arizona Pomegranate Lite Green Tea tastes like a lightly carbonated, pomegranate-infused version of the original lite green tea. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a little different than normal green tea, but you can still tell it’s Arizona.

There are 70 calories per serving in APLGTED. This actually concerns me because this is the “lite” version of the green tea. I thought for sure that “lite” would have meant “no calories” or maybe 10 calories per serving. They do, however, have a great “performance blend” made with 1000mg’s of Taurine, 80mg’s of Caffeine, 100mg’s of Panax Ginseng, Inositol, and Guarana, plus 35mg’s of Milk Thistle. I didn’t know this until now, but milk thistle is used to help liver function, decrease cholesterol, and reduce your risk of breast, cervical, and prostate cancer. Hooray.

I like it. It’s not something I’d drink everyday, but I’d definitely suck one down if I was thirsty and tired and had no other choices. Or, you know, if I was in the mood for something that tastes like lightly carbonated pomegranate green tea.

******* 7/10 ED Stars

As I walked out of the Kwik Trip last night with four energy drinks in hand, a friend asked me, “are you THAT tired?” “No,” I replied, “my store doesn’t have these kinds at home - and I need to review them for the site.”

I believe that Monster’s Loca Moca Java is the last of the Monster Java line that I need to review. This is pretty much the same as the last two (Mean Bean & Big Black) that I have reviewed. The only difference with Loca Moca is, obviously, it has a hint of chocolate to it.

Moca Loca is equally as smooth drinking and the other two, but for some reason unbeknownst to me, it has 20 less calories per serving. Not too shabby. This drink is just as loaded with the Monster “Energy Blend,” consisting of L-Carnitine, Glucose, Caffeine, Guarana, Inositol, et al., as the others, and it tastes just as good.

Go for it. You’ll like it.

******** 8/10 ED Stars

Yesterday, I reviewed Monster Java Mean Bean energy drink. This takes just like that only sweeter. Just kidding. Big Black is actually pretty much the same taste as Mean Bean, only there’s more of a coffee flavor to it.

Same calories. Same energy blend content. Same smoothness. More actual coffee flavor. Different can. If you want to know more, look at the Mean Bean review.

It is totally just a matter of preference, but for me, I prefer the Big Black to the Mean Bean. I guess what they say is true, once you go Big Black… ahhh cripes.

******** 8/10 ED Stars

It is official. I have a problem. The first step to recovery is admitting that, though, right? My problem? I walked into Kwik Trip today and noticed that they had TWO new energy drinks by Monster. I actually got excited. These drinks weren’t in the normal energy drink section, though… they were in the Starbucks Frappucino section. That’s right… two new coffee drinks by Monster, baby. I am not the biggest fan of Frappucino-style drinks, but I HAD to give these a try anyway.

Today I am reviewing Monster’s “Mean Bean Java Monster.” They tout this as “coffee + energy.” I don’t think that the marketing team at Monster got the memo that coffee is THE original “energy drink,” and the only energy drink that will EVER get 10 stars (probably) here on FuzzMartin.com. At any rate, this has the same Monster “energy blend” that is in the regular energy drinks: L-Carnitine, Caffeine, Guarana, Inositol, Taurine, Panax Ginseng, et al. In a rather dumb move, the can says that this drink has “half the caffeine of regular coffee, twice the buzz.” Why would you even write that? It’s idiotic. But I digress.

Monster’s Java Mean Bean is creamy, smooth, tastes great, and it’s easy to drink. The Mean Bean flavor has a smooth almost vanilla-y taste to it, and I honestly wish that I had some more right now. There is virtually no aftertaste. There’s no bite to it. It has the same amount of calories as a regular Monster, so I’m not worried about drinking too much of it. I’m going to go ahead and say that this is a winner.

******** 8/10 ED Stars

Enviga is a brand of green tea produced under Nestea/Coca-Cola. The can touts itself as “The Calorie Burner.” Welcome to the world of gimmicks, I guess. Since most “diet pills” these days have some form of “concentrated green tea extract,” I can see how this would be a natural marketing direction. Weight loss, like sex, sells.

ASPARTAME ALERT! While it’s not at the top of the list of ingredients, Enviga (both peach and Berry) contain the dreaded ingredient Aspartame. Since I am doing a double-review (peach and berry) today, I am going to end up with an aspartame headache unlike any other in a little bit. Watch out!

Aside from the dangerous poison, Enviga has three okay ingredients. 1) Green tea extract. It supposedly increases your body’s metabolism thereby burning calories. 2) Caffeine. Duh. The can says it has as much as “an average cup of coffee.” 3) Calcium. You know, so you can get strong bones and muscles while you’re ingesting your seizure-inducing aspartame.

As far as the taste goes, the Peach flavor is the best out of the two, but that’s not saying much. There is WAY too much carbonation in this carbonated green tea. If you’ve ever drank a can of La Croix sparkling water, you can pretty much compare this to that. It is way over carbonated and it kind of takes over the taste. My first sip of the peach flavor was about 20 minutes after I brushed my teeth this morning, so my first impression was really bad, but it warmed up a tad by the time I got in to work. The berry flavor is just pretty much disgusting. In fact, I may go toss this in the garbage as soon as I click “publish.”

You can do better than Enviga.

Peach: *** 3/10 ED Stars
Berry: ** 2/10 ED Stars

Photo courtesy of Nestea/Coca-Cola. 

Another in my list of Air Force Nutrisoda energy drinks. This time I am test driving “Calm.” I already drank a Calm a few weeks ago after I was trying to, uhm, calm down. I’m not sure if it was the energy drink that worked or just getting out of the office, but either way, after an hour or so I was calm. Hooray.

Calm is another in the zero-to-the-fifth line of AirForce energy sodas. There are zero calories, zero caffeine, zero sodium, zero aspartame, and zero sugar in Calm. The flavor is called, “wild berry and citron.” It does, in fact, taste like a mixture of berries and citrus. It’s not a bad combination, believe it or not.

If you want to calm down, drink an AirForce Calm Nutrisoda and then go take a walk.

******* 7/10 ED Stars

My energy drink o’ the day today is Air Force Nutrisoda’s Flex. It has a blend of ingredients that are designed to help your joints. I’m not currently experiencing any joint problems, but I figured that I would give it a try anyway.

Like the rest of the Nutrisodas from AirForce, Flex has no sugar, no caffeine, no sodium, no aspartame, and low calories (some of the nutrisodas have none).

Flex is a black cherry/apple flavored drink. It is heavier on its carbonation than Energize, but it isn’t too bad. The flavor is quite delicious. I probably won’t buy anymore of it, simply because i have been blessed with okay joints (and really, I drink most of these for the caffeine or caffeine-like ingredients). I do, however, highly recommend it to anybody who is interested in a drink geared towards joint problems.

******** 8/10 ED Stars

Since I have given up on energy drinks that contain high-fructose corn syrup (we’ll just call them, “sodas” (or “pop” if you talk like a hillbilly)), I decided to pick up some more from the Air Force Nutrisoda line.

Today I am drinking “Focus.” The can says that it is supposed to help “maintain and support mental alertness and concentration.” So, that can’t be bad, right? The active ingredients in Focus are inositol, choline, L-tyrosine, and ginseng. Those are all supposed to increase, uhm, focus. So, duh.

I didn’t really care for the mango/peach flavor of Focus. It wasn’t as light as Energize, either. All in all, though, it wasn’t that bad. If I needed to boost my concentration for something, and this was all they had at the store, I’d drink it without question.

***** 5/10 ED Stars

Yesterday,  a coworker asked me if I like energy drinks (well, duh!). I, of course, expressed my adoration for aluminum cans filled with carbonated water, ginseng, guarana, and taurine. She responded by saying, “I have something for you.” Sweet!

She came back in the studio with three cans of AirForce Nutrisoda Energize, and asked if I had ever tried one before. I said that I had not, though I did drink the AirForce Nutrisoda Calm and liked it (I haven’t reviewed Calm yet). She said, “here, have these. They have too much caffeine for me and make me sick to my stomach.” That’s kind of like somebody saying, “this is gross, try it,” but I wasn’t afraid to dive into something new.

Energize is pretty tasty. I even drank the first one warm, and it wasn’t half bad. The can says that it tastes like “mandarin + mint,” though I couldn’t pick out the minty flavor at all. The cool part about ALL of the Nutrisodas from Air Force is that they don’t contain any sugar, sodium, or the dreaded aspartame (bad stuff, Maynard). Since I REFUSE to review any more energy drinks that contain high-fructose corn syrup, I was pleasantly surprised to see that this didn’t contain any of that garbage.

Every member of the Nutrisoda line comes in those tiny, Red-Bull-like, 8.4 oz cans. I prefer the bigger cans, but Energize easily gets it done in this precious 8.4 ounces.

******** 8/10 ED Stars (me likes)

When I want to switch up the taste buds, and I’m not trying out a totally new type of energy drink, I go for a nice, cold Monster Assault! Really, you can’t go wrong with ANY of the Monster brand, non-juice laced, energy drinks.

Monster Assault has the same smoothness of regular Monster, except it has sort of a hint of, oh, I can’t put my tongue on it… It has a little bit of a Mountain Dew Code Red feel to it. It’s not quite cherry, but it definitely has some kind of “fruit” essence to it. There is a little bit more carbonation, it seems, in the Monster Assault than in the normal Monster drinks, too. For a change of pace, though, it’s really good.

******** 8/10 ED Stars

By the way, I didn’t drink these all at once. I bought them all at the beginning of the week and have been working my way through them. Must……. get……. sleep…….

I feel like I’m swinging at lobbed softballs here. Monster Energy Drink has about the most rapport with society as an energy drink can get. It’s at the very top of the heap with Red Bull and Rockstar. You can find it anywhere, and pretty much everyone should be familiar with the Monster logo (though as a colorblind person I’m not sure if it’s orange or green).

As for the taste. Well, it tastes like about the best energy drink on the planet. It’s taste is unique, though it can sort of be compared with Rockstar. It has a completely different taste than it’s low calorie kid brother. It is not too sweet. The first ingredient after “water” is not high-fructose corn syrup. It’s pretty much a smooth, easy-to-drink energy drink that ties the highest accolades that any of the energy drinks on FuzzMartin.com have received so far. My “calorie-ridden” energy drink of choice.

********* 9/10 ED Stars

Okay, enough with the little pups. It’s time to review one of the big dawgs. I would venture to say that in the world of energy drinks, there are 5 at the top of the heap. They are (in no particular order): Monster (regular), Rockstar (regular), Monster Assault, Rockstar Zero-Carb, and today’s review: Monster Lo-Carb (the one with the blue M).

This energy drink is easy to drink, doesn’t contain any high-fructose corn syrup (which automatically deducts at least 4 points from my calculations), and it’s got enough energy blend to get me through the morning show even if I didn’t get enough sleep. There’s not much I can say about it other than, if it’s not my favorite, it is right there near the top. When I don’t have time to go pick out a new energy drink, I normally grab the Monster Lo-Carb or a Rockstar Zero-Carb.

********* 9/10 ED Stars

Rumba. While I’m certain that it’s pronounced “rumm-buh,” I couldn’t help but immediately think of the self-propelled, robotic vacuum called, Roomba. And, immediately after that, I thought of the SNL skit for the Woomba… “it’s a robot, and it cleans my business… my lady business.” (video below)

Moving on. Rumba is not an energy drink. Rumba is juice. It is juice laced with the Taurine, Guarana, Ginseng, et al. Basically… it tastes like Sunny Delight. There’s no carbonation. There’s no “kick.” It’s 100% juice and crack energy blend. Rumba is good if you’re into that kind of stuff. I’d prefer a lower-calorie drink, but every so often juice is good.

***** 5/10 ED Stars

I hadn’t seen the name “Tab” in stores in a LONG time. Actually, maybe I did, but ever since I saw a “60 Minutes” piece on Tab and saccharin, (circa 1980-something) it never crossed my mind that it would ever be back on the market. Well, apparently it is - and now they have an energy drink to boot.

I am not a fan of the small-can energy drinks (Red Bull, those ones that say “slim,” etc.) so I wasn’t thinking that I would dig the Tab Energy drink. Well…. it’s actually not that bad (for a pea-shooter). It doesn’t taste anything like Tab used to taste back in the saccharin days, but it is light, refreshing, not too carbonated, and it has a nice aftertaste.

****** 6/10 ED Stars