I Drink Your Milkshake

MySpace’s friends let him know that he’s heading in the wrong direction. Not safe for playing at work due to dirty language and people at a party making out with each other.

Hattip: American Copywriter

Stephen Colbert for Whitehouse Press Secretary!

Tracy’s lawn mower didn’t work. She said that every time she went to engage the blades, the mower would shut off. From my younger days as a landscaper for Achtenhagen Services in Big Bend, I was able to diagnose the problem over the phone: the safety switch wasn’t engaging.

So, I went out to her apartment to try it out. It worked fine for me. Turns out that her butt isn’t big enough to trip the switch. Not too shabby.

This is what happens to your kid when he decides to be a little pain in the ass. (HT: JG)

From an actual conversation:

Person 1: “Your son is funny… I think he has a crush on Zoey.”

Person 2: “That’s just because she puts out.”

Hahahahahaha!

(for those of you not up on your teen gossip… “Zoey” is Jamie Lynn Spears… Brittney’s pregnant little sister)

Jabber Jaw Pens sent me this HILLarious (they’re marketing, not mine) pen in the mail:

Here’s a video of me playing with it:

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John Oliver’s Terrifying Times standup on Comedy Central is just hilarious…if you have 60 free minutes, take the time to watch it.

I am in favor of Earth Day, cleaning up the planet, etc…but I also feel a lot of media and people’s ramblings about “going green” is a fad for them and disingenuous…
So, here is my 2008 take on how we should celebrate Earth Day, from The Colbert Report on Comedy Central.

From The Daily Show on Comedy Central.

Yale is saying that the aborted baby art scandal was a hoax, but that didn’t stop the ever-humorous IowaHawk from putting together a great brochure (you really should just read that whole thing - it’s too funny)

With your Yale Art School degree, the sky’s the limit! Our graduates can be found pooping, peeing and bleeding in some of the finest art galleries and warehouse performance spaces from the East Village to Park Slope. But that’s only part of the opportunity story for Yale Art alumni. Here are some of the other exciting things you can do:

* Spur an intellectual conversation
about psysiognomic boundaries
* Start a ruckus
* Get attention
* Get a part time job at Kinkos for rent money
* Return home to live with your wealthy parents for a while
* Go back to graduate school at Yale Art
* Get a job teaching Art
* Get attention

What?

Talking Goat

This was e-mailed to me. It’s rather sad and funny. Sad because it has probably happened before. Funny because, well, it is.

I loved the movie Dirty Work (though less than I loved Chris Farley):

Best part of the movie:

This is just hilarious.

 

Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient. There’s a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning.
- Bill Gates

Windows Vista.
- God