When I was younger, my dad had a beard. I distinctly remember a few times when he shaved it off. My sister, the poor little thing, would cry her eyes out every time he did.

The other day, I shaved off my goatee.

My almost-four-year-old daughter’s response: “you look like a girl, daddy.”

BOO.

Though I’ve been photographing models and still life for a few years now, I did my first wedding over the weekend. I had a lot of fun and I think that I’ll do it again someday. If all of the brides in the world were as cool and laid back as Mrs. Zelenski was, I’d do weddings all of the time.

I’ll post a gallery after I get the photos to Tom and Kelly.

Thanks to Tracy, btw, for being the best assistant a man could ever ask for.

This afternoon, my always-bouncy, never-stop-running, three-almost-four-year-old daughter climbed up onto my chest and fell asleep for almost two hours. It was the best Father’s Day ever. I hope yours was good, too.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad.

Vrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh-CLICK.

a) Members of Hillary’s campaign getting home, shutting off their vans, and taking off their seat belts.

b) A washing machine at the end of the spin cycle.

c) My sump pump.

ANSWER: If you picked any of the above, you are correct.

At 4:30 this morning, I saw an extremely bright lightning flash that was followed by one of the loudest claps of thunder that I have ever heard. About five minutes later I heard sirens that seemed to turn off right by my house.

My neighbor’s house, about forty yards away, was struck by lightning. The ladder truck was up and I couldn’t see how much damage was done, but they had the full arsenal of fire trucks from the Mayville Fire Department on the scene.

I hope that everyone is okay and that the damage is not too severe.

Well, I finally did it. On Sunday afternoon, I finally and officially graduated from UW-Milwaukee. It was a nice day, there were tons and tons of students graduating, and it was all worth it.

Some of the highlights from the event:

• Getting to skip to the front of the 530+ business students in line, thanks to a friend in the AMA who let about seven of us in.
• U.S. Congresswoman Gweneth Moore’s gaffe. She read her notes, “committed suicide,” instead of “committed students.” Everybody’s jaw dropped.
• Some of the text messages sent to me by Tracy and JG that were just about the funniest things that I have read in ages. JG’s cousin, Michael, should be a comedian.
• The fact that they actually read, “Fuzz Martin,” as I walked.
• Walking.

I’m just happy to be done. I initially planned on attending UW-Whitewater to get my MBA, but now I think I may just return to UW-Milwaukee. It’s about $10,000 less to do the UWM program on campus than it is to do the UWW program on the internet. Plus, UWM is more widely recognized than UW-Whitewater, so it’s probably in my best interest… I’m just sick of driving.

Thank you, sincerely, to all of you who have put up with me through my BBA program and who have congratulated me on finally graduating! It was a lot of hard work, but it was a great experience and a hell of a lot of fun.

Tracy’s lawn mower didn’t work. She said that every time she went to engage the blades, the mower would shut off. From my younger days as a landscaper for Achtenhagen Services in Big Bend, I was able to diagnose the problem over the phone: the safety switch wasn’t engaging.

So, I went out to her apartment to try it out. It worked fine for me. Turns out that her butt isn’t big enough to trip the switch. Not too shabby.

As Claude referenced in the previous post, I have finally finished my bachelors degree. Yesterday, I took my last two final exams as a college undergraduate! So, aside from walking up to the stage and picking up my diploma, I am done with UWM!

At times it was a long, hard road, but I feel like I finally accomplished something great. It is like a gigantic rock has been lifted off of my shoulders.

Congrats to everyone who is graduating and best of luck with your careers.

Of course you have heard by now that the Home Depot is closing three stores in Southeastern Wisconsin. Of the stores are two near my home — Home Depot, Beaver Dam and Home Depot, Fond du Lac.

Before my kitchen-remodeling project, I bought some tiles from the Beaver Dam store. Luckily, I purchased the rest of my supplies from Home Depot or Menards in West Bend. Today, when I went to take back the extra tiles that I had, the lady at the Home Depot in West Bend said, “sorry, sir, all sales from Beaver Dam or Fond du Lac’s stores are final.”

WTF? It’s a national chain store that is corporately owned. What’s the difference if I bring back a box of tiles that it stocks at every single Home Depot store?

Since I’m sure I’ll end up buying from The Home Depot again, I’ll simply return the tiles without my receipt, so as to get in-store credit. It’s just ridiculous, though, that I have to jump through hoops to get $6.97 back.

On another note, I think that it’s completely ridiculous that The Home Depot will come in to a town, build these sprawling stores on vacant land, and then close up shop within three years. All while vowing to open 36 new stores in the U.S. this year. How about making your other stores profitable before building new ones?

Yours truly is now a card-carrying, certified American Red Cross FAST (First-Aid Service Team) member. Everybody please step back… I’m here to help.

Never look down to test the ground before taking your next step; only he who keeps his eye fixed on the far horizon will find the right road.

~Dag Hammarskjold

This is that time of the year when I am inundated with work, school projects, and more work and school projects. I will be done with school two weeks from tomorrow! After that, it’s fun, sun, and taking my GMAT for my Master’s.

Now, back to a hot word processor. Later tonight I might tell you about the awesome trip to Chicago that Tracy and I took over the weekend. But right now… I’ve got isht to do.

At 2:55 this morning, there was a loud thunderclap. Luckily it woke me up. All of the power was out. And not the blinking-lights, on-and-off type of outage - this was the full-blown, nothing-is-working type of outage.

When you’re in radio - especially doing a morning show - you often have nightmares about waking up late. Even on the weekends, sometimes, I freak out just a bit if I wake up when it’s already light outside.

Now I just hope that there’s not melted ice cream and popsicles all over my floor when I get home.

The other day, I was in a restroom at a local restaurant. In walked some guy. He went into a stall and proceeded to, uhm, sit down… AND THEN HE DIALED HIS PHONE!!! WTF? He was working some business deal (that’s not a euphemism, he really was conducting business on his phone) while he was taking a crap. Being the upstanding citizen that I am, I didn’t know if it would be rude of me to flush the toilet or wait for him to finish his negotiations. But… after waiting for what seemed like an eternity, I coughed and flushed the toilet. Then I washed my hands for an extra long time just for effect. Seriously - what business, besides the obvious, is suitable for conducting in a public bathroom stall?

Sorry if that was too much information - but I had to get that off of my chest.

On Saturday, I got certified by the Red Cross in CPR and AED (Automatic External Defibrillator) usage. I can also administer oxygen to people in need. So… if  you ever need my help, just throw up the secret Füzz Martin hand sign, and I’ll be there to save you.

Now I just need to make up a secret Füzz Martin hand sign

Sue Tupper, one of my station’s account executives, is a great bowler. About six months ago, we were on a remote broadcast when she started talking about how she was going to Vegas to bowl in the Nationals bowling tournament. I said, “My aunt was on Bowling with the Champs, once, but she and I don’t share any blood. I could hardly make it on Bowling with the Chumps.”

Eureka!!! A little light bulb popped up above my head.

I take part in a celebrity trap shoot for Women For MACC each year at the Hartford Gun Club. Women For MACC is a non-profit that supports Midwest Athletes Against Childhood Cancer.

I told Sue, “we should take my bad bowling skills, and the bad bowling skills of Josh Golberg (my afternoon guy), and put on a charity bowling event called `Bowling With The Chumps.`”

I didn’t underestimate Sue. She has put together a tight event that is going to take place tomorrow morning, starting at 11am, at Lighthouse Lanes in West Bend. I encourage you all to stop by and help raise money for childhood cancer research.

For the first time since high school football, I am participating in an organized sport - kickball (Go Mashugana!!). After years of not having the right schedule to play on a team (worked nights & then went to school nights), now I have the perfect setup: I get done with school at 4:45 on Thursday nights and since I’m already down in Milwaukee, I can play!!!

Well, due to “field conditions,” the first game is cancelled tonight. DOH.

Anyway… I can’t wait to hang out with the guys and be a part of a team again. Better luck next week.

(btw, Mashugana is Jewish for “jackass.” Yeah, I play for the Jewish Donkeys.)

…just ordered my cap and gown. Sweeeeeeet. May 18th can’t come fast enough!

In UWM’s Lubar Hall (the Business School), there are separate study rooms for those who would like to quietly study for their classes. Unfortunately, the asshats that are in here now didn’t get the memo. I could quite seriously go in the hallway right now and enjoy a lower level of noise than the drunk-ass accounting students are emitting.

Man, I’m getting old.

Yesterday, Tracy, Sadie, Luke (Sadie’s boyfriend), and I all went on the Sprecher Brewery tour, followed by a tour of the Cedar Creek Winery in Cedarburg. We had a lot of fun… and a lot of beer/wine.

Check out the gallery: